Should I Stay or Should I Go? (100th Post!)

Don't worry. This blog isn't about me leaving Cambodia. It's about exploring it.

Many people contemplate whether or not they should stay at site while they are serving their communities throughout the two years as a Peace Corps Volunteer or if they should go out and explore the country. There are many arguments for or against why one might do either, so I thought I would provide some personal insights (take them as you will) about it.

Staying at Site: This is what it means to be integrated right?! Staying at site. If you leave, the community members will all talk about it: "Why does he/she leave so often?", "Maybe he/she has a lot of money. He/she says he/she does not have a salary, but I do not believe that." Okay, so I might be being facetious a little, but there may be a little truth to this. The truth is, a good portion of the volunteers I've spoken with who stay at site for long periods of time seem to be very happy there. You begin to find a balance at site. You have your alone time, but you make friends with people in your community and it keeps you sane. You might have projects that require you to help with during the weekends. You may just be broke and don't want to spend money on transportation. You may just actually like being there. I've found that the longer I am at site for one period of time, the more people will miss me and want to talk when I return after a trip. Peace Corps sure doesn't give you a lot of money to travel around, but it's plenty enough for hangin' around site and comin' into town once a week. I've begun to make some new friends here and to be honest, I really enjoy the time I have to myself. I've absolutely been able to contemplate the things that happen to me and simply, the things that just happen here. It's also possible to lose a little bit of perspective; if you're in one place for too long a period of time, it's difficult to see things in a different light. Sometimes it drives you crazy, but I sleep easy in the comfort of my room.

Pros: - Integration

- Learn more about your community

- Potentially make new friends

- Definitely save a lot of money

Cons: - Idleness (Stir-crazy)

- Small loss of perspective

Traveling: "OHHH MY GODDD!!! LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!" Okay, so it's not always like that. But yeah, sometimes it is. Again, being facetious, but at the same time, not really. I've traveled a lot around this country and it's given my eyes a much wider scope of not necessarily the way things operate, but simply viewing those operations. To elaborate a little, I've visited many volunteers at their sites and their provincial towns. Before, I really only knew a little about Kampong Cham Town and my training village. Now, I also know about my permanent site along with Sway or Svay or Sisophon or Serei Sisopon (the real name) or Sway Sisophon or Serei Sophon or Banteay Meanchey (all alternative names for the provincial capital). You gain a little perspective by moving villages and by moving provinces (if you do). I think it's becauseyou see what different foods people eat, the way they react to certain questions/gestures/responses. What is acceptable in some communities? What isn't? Do women drink or are they sopheap (polite)? Do men work the town or is it mostly women, because the men are off working across the border? A lot of times, I think we travel from our sites in order to escape a little. We need to gain a bit of perspective before coming back. Sometimes we let things fester and we have no one to talk to about it in English. It's hard to admit, but sometimes you just hate this country and you need to vent about it before coming back. How do you go up to someone you have just made friends with in your community and say, "I hate the way you do things here! It's wrong. It doesn't make sense. Why can't you just do it this way?!" Given, you don't always feel this way, and that's simply a part of culture shock, but culture shock is a part of life when you first get here. There are four main stages of this: Honeymoon; Rejection; Sociological; Acculturation. The previous sentiment would be going through the rejection stage. Culture shock is basically a wave of emotions that eventually evens out. Unfortunately, the down side to using this as a coping mechanism is that if it is used too often, it becomes the only thing you look forward to. Be weary. On the contrary, I find it interesting to think about what we bring home about the countries we serve in in the Peace Corps. Goal 1: Send skilled men and women to countries seeking their help. Clearly, staying at site and performing your primary task, but I always wondered about Goal 3: Bring it home (Share the cultures of Cambodia with the peoples of America). Everyone...everyone will have a different perspective and a different story to tell even if you live in the same country, province, district and are in the same program with any Peace Corps post. Many people will go back and tell of their training site, their permanent site, and some provincial towns to which they escaped every now and then. I find it useful to go back and talk about other villages across Cambodia. There are different terrains, different climates (slightly), different peoples, different attitudes, and sometimes even different languages if you live close enough to a border. I find it useful to not only explain my experiences, but to be able to share the experiences of others.

Pros: - Coping with idleness/forelonging to see friends

- Seeing/learning about different terrains, people, languages, methods of life

- Gaining a greater perspective of the country you live in

- Reconnect with people

Cons: - Over-traveling -->; disinterest in going back to site

- Community members wondering if you are happy

- Not being happy (The reason why you might travel so often. This is not necessarily always the case, just an example)

- Expensive --> go through your monthly living allowance very quickly

The thing is, both are great things to do, however, it's all about finding the right balance for you. There is no perfect equation or recipe for what it is to be a successfully integrated Peace Corps Volunteer. It is up to the individual what experience they have. A K3 volunteer once told me an anecdote:

"There once were two volunteers around the same community. One of them was middle-aged who taught the women of the town the marketable skill of basket making. She didn't travel very often, nor did she try too hard to learn the language. She was happy and enjoyed conversations with her host family. When she left, the town was sad but was left with at least 30 women who could now sustain themselves. The other volunteer was young and in his twenties. He taught English but did not enjoy it very much. In fact, many of the students did not really want to learn. He left on long vacations, but stayed in the town often. He learned the language at a very proficient level and spent most of his time in hammocks talking with community members, laughing and drinking with them daily. When he left, though he only actually taught English one or two hours a week, the town cried."

How are we supposed to define what it means to be a "good" volunteer. Is it about becoming a great friend and giving perspective to the community, or is it about leaving them with skills they did not have before? The first goal of Peace Corps tells of sending skilled men and women, yet much of the training teaches about the importance of the relationships that you build. Like I've said many times before, and I plan on sticking with it, it's about what works for you. Are you happy? Can you create the balance that you need to feel such an emotion and be productive. What is productivity? What does it mean to you? It's all about the balance of things. Should I stay or should I go? That's up to you. Take into account your community, but also don't forget to take into account yourself.

Talk to you soon,

Garrett

P.s. My next post will be about the flood relief efforts in Cambodia. A friend of mine who teaches English has partnered up with her co-teacher and a local NGO (Non-Governmental Organization) to help with the disaster. So, keep your eyes peeled, and hopefully I'll have a little blurb and a link to the site when its up and running.